Something’s Been Bothering Me

I recently read a blog post about how bloggers can share too much about his or her personal life.  It really upset me and caused me pause.  Am I sharing too much?  I am using this blog as a way to put the pieces back together since I had my break and was diagnosed.  It feels good to write about such things and I have received very supportive feedback on all of my posts – so thank you for that.  However, this blogger said we needed to cover ourselves up and that it was simply attention seeking to share such personal situations on one’s blog.

What do you think is too much to share?  I’m having a bit of a problem with this bloggers declaration that some things are best kept private.  I don’t have a huge list of followers, so I am not exposing my truths to many people.  I am basically writing for me, in a public format.  I change people’s names and try not to reveal the nitty, gritty details about certain situations because those things are best kept to myself and those involved.  But, this blogging experience has been very cathartic for me with all the support I have been getting.  I don’t feel like I need to cover up and hide behind something that is so often hushed up anyway.

I’m trying to play my part in breaking the stigma of mental illness.  My experiences are just that, mine.  If they provide comfort to someone else who may be suffering or know someone who does, then great!  If my experiences help make someone think differently about struggling with mental illness, great!  I am only one person and I’m only sharing my truth.  Isn’t that really what we all are doing as bloggers?  Telling our own story through our own interpretations?

I don’t know why this post got to me.  Maybe because I was questioning whether or not I should have shared what I shared about my husband and myself and our struggles with this condition.  It felt very private, but I’m glad I shared.  So, perhaps I need to tuck in my skirts, but I’m not going to.  I don’t think it is honest or fair to sugar coat this very serious topic.

I’m not going to always write about the dark and heavy, as evidenced with yesterday’s post, but I’m going to speak my truth, and I think others should speak their truths as well.  Be as honest as possible, because I think readers are able to decipher if you are glossing over the meaty details.  And, why would you want to lie about your own truths?

I’m not a person to wax poetic about inspiration and positivity.  Those things are nice, but I find them redundant and boring.  Everyone has a positivity blog.  Sometimes things aren’t positive.  Sometimes they downright suck.  It’s okay to say things suck.  And, that is why I’m not going to hold back what I have to say.  I’m not writing for this one particular author, I am writing in an effort to be honest and true.  And sometimes it’s not pretty.

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Mush

Picasso

I have been away from writing for about a week now, as family has been in town visiting and I haven’t really had a chance to sit down and collect my thoughts.  It has created a bit of writers block for me and I’m feeling a bit frustrated, but I feel the need to get the creative juices flowing and put some words down on virtual paper.

I want to tell my story right.  I want it to make sense, in word, and chronologically accurate.  It is extremely frustrating because I have big lapses in my memory and the events that I do remember seem to get jumbled.  I simply must sit down and write down what I remember with real pen and paper, so that I have material to tell you about and I can cross off things that I have already talked about – I don’t want you to get bored!

What I am saying is that I want to get this right.  I want my story to be coherent and be compelling because I need to tell my story.  I want to tell my story.

So, please forgive my word folly today.  I just wanted to write something, anything, in order to do a mental sweep of the few cobwebs that built up during the past week.  I’m hoping this little free-writing experiment has helped me tap into something more substantial.